If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize