i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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