Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
