Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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