brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
