just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Houston, we have a blender
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
