everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize