Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize