My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
