didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
