we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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