i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
