The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
