Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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