if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Michael Bay diarrhea
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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