what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
