gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
