your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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