I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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