She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
