I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
