u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
