I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
