You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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