We won't sleep together?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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