This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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