Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
