I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
