Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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