smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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