My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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