Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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