I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
