I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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