He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
