my room smells like sperm. sweet.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
