I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize