i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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