Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
