there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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