You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
