Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
