i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
