I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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