I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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