I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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