I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
