ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Hippo gnu deer
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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