You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
