Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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