What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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