I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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