Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
