My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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