hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wish my penis had a tongue
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Brb crying the tears of my youth
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize