hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
