i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
