She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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