how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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