I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
