I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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