yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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